With You I Am Born Again
by herb-walsh
Summary: This is a Slexie fanfic written as if things turned out differently after the plane crash. :) A romantic and hopeful story of the two very dearly missed characters. I hope you all like it and please review it honestly! I would love to hear your feedback as this is my first fanfic. :)
1. Without Him

Lexie POV

I wake up in a cold sweat and with my mind racing, again. I see that I am laying in my hospital bed still and that I am not out in the woods like I imagined I was. I shouldn't be surprised, I have been having dreams like this for the last four weeks. After the plane crash we were out there in the wilderness for four whole days, and the experience still haunts me every time I sleep. Honestly, it haunts me when I am awake also. There is nothing I wish more than to just forget about everything that happened and move on. I am sick of being in this bed, in this hospital as a patient, and I am especially sick of not being able to go visit Mark.

My injuries are pretty severe, thank goodness Mark and Cristina were able to stop the bleeding after they got me out from underneath the back end of the plane. It took a lot of clothing to wrap all my wounds. I have had numerous surgeries to fix my bones, but thanks to Callie's amazing work I should make an almost full recovery. Probably won't be running any marathons anytime soon but that's alright with me, there is really only one thing on my mind right now.

My friends have been trying to keep me calm but they can't hide the pain I feel about Mark. He hasn't woken up yet and there isn't much hope that he will. He was the one who kept me strong in the woods and now that I know that he loves me back it would be especially hard to lose him. I don't know how I could live with myself if he does die, I have tried being with other men but I always fall back to him. He is the one, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and share the good times and bad with. I can't do better than Mark Sloan because there is no better. The words _"Meant to be.." _float into my mind. I need to see him, I want to see him, I have to see him.

I can't get out of bed without a wheel chair so I will need someone to help me, but I know no one would knowingly give me modes of transportation to move around the hospital unauthorized. I have to find a way though, I can't stand being stuck here anymore, I can't stand being without him anymore. I watch as a nurse walks by with a wheelchair. Suddenly an idea pops into my mind. I yank the heart monitor tabs off of my chest and close my eyes and hold my breath. The alarm on my heart monitor goes off signaling that my heart has stopped. The nurse rushes in and pushes the code blue button, " Code blue! Code blue!" she yells in a panic, obviously new and inexperienced I think. She isn't acting near fast enough to save someone's life. The nurse runs out of the room to get a crash cart and I quickly lean over and grab the wheel chair that she has left and pull it over to the bed. I get into the wheelchair as quickly and gracefully as I can, but with two crushed legs and a broken pelvis it's kinda hard. I wince as I drop onto the seat, but I ignore the intense pain I feel and pull the tubes and needles from my arm and quickly wheel out of the room. Once I am a good 10 feet from the room door I casually wheel myself around the floor as not to draw attention to myself. Room 102...room 102...my photographic memory really helps me with this information after they showed me Mark's chart a week ago. Now I know exactly where he is. I have to pick the right time though, I have to make sure no one is visiting him so they don't send me back to the Hell that is my room.

I count down the room numbers until I see Mark's room, and there he is lying in his bed. He looks so weak, so fragile, so not him. It scares me and I gasp and try to hold back the tears welling in the back of my eyes, "Mark.." I croak. I am lost in my fear and pain for a moment, I quickly snap back to reality though and realize I can't be seen sitting here in the hallway crying or I will get caught. I look to my right and see a utility closet, I check and see if anyone is around, it's weirdly quiet in the halls so I safely wheel myself into the room and shut the door. I sit there and let the tears fall.

I can't believe he looks like that, I have always seen Mark as the strong one. But there he is, just laying there withering away. Even from a distance I can tell it doesn't look good, I can't lose him though. God can't do this to us right? He can't let this happen. I take a minute to pray that Mark will get better and that everything will work itself out. I am not the kind of person to pray but this just seems like a moment that you should, I am desperate at this point. Desperate for some hope.

I remember that my whole goal was to see him, I should see him even if his state scares me and hurts me. I open the door just a crack and look into his room, Derek is in there taking a physical. I know it's not good, Derek's face looks pained. I know this is hard for him too, the prospect of losing his best friend. He was out there with us too, Derek was, and he knows the kind of torture and pain we went through during that time. Even though he would probably understand my need to see Mark, I know he would have me sent back to room for my safety, just because he married my sister he now thinks he has the right to treat me like a little sister. I am the baby in the family already, I don't need another person treating me like one.

I wait and watch for Derek to leave,once he does I'll have to hurry and get in there and close the blinds. I sit there waiting impatiently for about twenty minutes until Derek leaves the room, it seemed like an eternity. I poke my head out of the room and take a scan of my surroundings, the nurses have their back turned so I quickly leave the room and close the door. I then casually wheel down the hallway like I am supposed to be there until I almost reach Mark's room " So close...so close," I whisper to myself. Now I just have to wait for someone to code, which happens at least three times in an hour on the ICU floor. I pick up a magazine and wait, I pretend to read but really in my head I am thinking of what I want to say to Mark considering they may be the last words I ever get to say to him. No, no, I can't think that way. If I think that way I am just going to cry, and sobbing in the hallway of the ICU is not a way to fly under the radar.

After waiting a good fifteen minutes the alarm goes of signaling a code blue, all the nurses rush down the hallway in the other direction, crash cart in tow. I move quickly and get myself into Mark's room. I struggle to close the door from my wheelchair and shut the blinds. Then there I am, I made it, I am here with the man I love but all I can feel is fear. Fear to breathe, fear to move, fear to do anything that could hurt this fragile man in the bed. This is not the strong Mark that I know, but I know he needs me right now and by staying alive this long he is strong. I wheel myself over to the side of his bed and just look at him. I listen to the respirator breathing for him, and the beeping of the heart monitor as it tells everyone whether or not he lives or dies. I take a shuddering breath and look away for a moment to gather myself. He has been strong for me so many times and now it's my turn to be strong for him. I ignore my fear and take his hand. His hand is cool, not warm like a healthy person, but not cold like death. The indifference bothers me, as if I could lose him any moment. Even with the fear and how uncomfortable it is to feel the coolness and not feel him grab my hand back, it feels so right and it feels so good to be close to him again. "Mark, I'm here. It's me, Lexie." I say in a quiet and shaky voice, " We made it out! We made it out of the woods! We are going to do everything you said we are going to do. We are going to get married and we are going to have lots of kids and we are going to be happy Mark!" Tears run down my face as I stare at his unresponsive face, " I love you Mark, and you love me and we are meant to be. You can't die on me now, not after everything we've been through and survived. We are meant to be, so please don't die. Don't die, please,please,don't die." I plead. I start uncontrollably sobbing, it can't end like this! This can't be it! " Mark! Mark! You wake up right now! You said it, we are meant to be so wake up! Wake up now, please!" I yell and plead at runs in, " Lexie! What are you doing in here? You can't be in here!" "I needed to see him, he can't die Derek! He can't die, he said it. He said it." Derek walks over and wraps his arms around me, he holds me as I cry like a child. " I am so sorry, so sorry," he says as he wipes the tears from my face, " I know you want him back, we all do, but you need to come back to your room. I'll take you." I look at him and then to Mark, I know Derek is right, it's for everyone's best interest if I go back to my room. Before Derek can pull me away I squeeze Mark's hand, " I love you." I whisper in his ear. I lean down and kiss him, softly, savoring probably the last kiss I will ever have with the man I love. Then it happens, the alarm goes off. Flat line. His heart stops.

"What's happening?! Derek! What's happening?!" I yell at the top of my lungs, " Someone get her out of here, now!" Derek yells into the hallway. A couple nurses come and try to get me to calm down so they can wheel me away, I shove them off of me and continue to scream, " Mark! Stay with me Mark! Derek save him now!" All the color has left from his face, and everything seems to be going in slow motion, a bunch of nurses roll in a crash cart and Derek is moving quickly and I can see the panic he is trying to hide on his face. I start sobbing and I continue to scream Mark's name, this can't be happening, not right now not after everything. " Page Dr. Grey and have her come get Lexie!" Derek yells at a nurse, he picks up the paddles, " Charge to 300! Mark, don't quit on me," he says. Derek places the paddles to his chest, I continue to sob and I feel at a total loss of control. My world is ending at this moment, Mark is my world and he is dying, actually physically dying at this second in time and I can't take it. I scream in emotional pain as I watch Derek shock Mark. Mark's body jumps from the electrical currents that just tried to re-start his heart. I look at the heart monitor and there is no change, " No...No!" I yell and cry, Meredith is behind me now ready to wheel me away, " Lexie it's time to go now, let's go." She says in her best soothing voice, " No, I am not leaving." I say with a growl. Derek yells out to charge the paddles again and he places them on Mark again, the shock goes through his body and there is no change on his heart monitor. It's over, he has left me. I am in a state of total emotional devastation and I just cry. But then, the heart monitor beeps. I look down at Mark quickly just in time to see him gasp and start choking on his intubation tube.

" He's alive?! He's Alive! Mark you are here!" I exclaim in total disbelief, how did this happen? This never happens. " Get her out of here now, I can handle this!" Derek yells at Meredith, she pulls my wheelchair out of the room and wheels me briskly down the hallway. " I love you Mark Sloan! You here me I love you and we are meant to be!" I yell down the hallway, and I watch as his room disappears.


	2. Alive

Mark POV

I can't breathe.I feel the pain spreading through my chest as a try to breathe on my own. I hear Derek telling me to relax but all I can feel is panic. Where am I? Why can't I breathe? Then I realize there is an intubation tube in my throat. Once I realize this, I calm my breathing and try to stop choking on this long tube of plastic in my body. I know the more I fight it, the more it will hurt. I am really foggy and confused by all the commotion around me. Callie is in the corner crying, and Derek is smiling like a mad man as he hurries to try and get me comfortable. Then I remember hearing Lexie. I remember her voice yelling from the hall when I was first coming to. How long have I been unconscious? What happened? It hurts to think about this. Derek pulls the tube out of my throat and gives me sips of water. "Don't try and talk until you are ready," he says. Callie comes over and smiles her big, beautiful smile and hugs me. " I missed you so much Mark. We missed you so much! I am so glad you're back!" She says. My throat hurts. It's swollen and I find it hard to swallow but I try to speak anyway. " H..how long have I.." I manage to mutter. " Four weeks. We thought you weren't going to make it," Derek tells me. I can see the utter joy on his face. I have never seen Derek this happy to see me. Hell, I am the ass who slept with his wife. Why would he ever be excited to see me?

Derek and Callie leave me for awhile to go and make sure everyone in the whole damn hospital knows I am awake. I am the golden boy here. Everyone loves me and this should make their world. The memory of hearing Lexie's voice calling to me when I was coming to has been bothering me for the last three hours since I have been awake. She may not even be alive, I don't have any idea what has happened since I have been out. She can't be dead though, after everything we have been through and finally realizing that we love each other, she can't die. I can't lose the woman I love. Little Grey...little Grey is the woman I want to live out the rest of my life with. _"Meant to be..." _ these little words float in my brain and I feel an aching pain behind my eyes. The thought of Lexie not being on this earth with me anymore hurts more than anything. I have been with a lot of women. I mean a lot of women. But Lexie Grey is the love of my life, and no other person will ever compare to her.

It's driving me crazy. Not knowing whether or not Lexie is alive or dead. I push my call button and Jackson comes in a minute later. " How's it going buddy!" He says to me as he flashes me that perfect grin of his. That's my plastics boy. " Alright, a little tired and dying from boredom in this room. This T.V. doesn't get any of the adult channels. How am I supposed to keep myself entertained?" I wink at him. Jackson laughs and sits in the chair next to my bed. I look at him and my smile vanishes. I have to ask him, if I don't know now, I am going to drive myself insane with pain of the unknown.

" Is Lexie dead?" I ask him. I take a shuddering breath,preparing myself for the answer that is to come. " No...No Mark she is alive." Jackson says and smiles at me. " She made it through like you. Apparently, she was in here right before you came to. Hell, she might even have been what woke you up," he says and smiles at me. A wave of relief washes over me. My girl is alive and in this hospital waiting for me. Our dreams are going to come true. We will do everything that we said we would. I beam with happiness and relief, " That's my Lexie."

I can't sleep in this hospital room. It's dark and depressing. God, I feel bad for all the patients here. All I can think about is Lexie. Her beautiful smile, and dark brown hair that looks like a chocolate fountain cascading down her shoulders. Her perfection doesn't allow my mind any rest.

I toss and turn and watch the clock as numbers come and go. I want to go see her, I need to go see her. We have been apart for so long and it's time for us to be together again. Time for us to start our life together. I could just get up and go see her. If I was sneaky about it no one would notice, and what really could it hurt? I know Lexie is dying to see me too, and I have to get to her. I take a deep breath and convince myself that I am strong enough to get out of bed and find her. I am a strong man. I can do this. I put my hand on the bed rail for support. I glance at the rail, and notice that my skin is almost as pale as the white piece of hard plastic. I am so undernourished after all this time that my body has changed drastically. Still devilishly handsome as always though. I mean, how could I not be? I grip the rail tightly and plant my left hand on the bed ready to push my torso up. Why does doing this make me so nervous?Taking a deep breath, I push myself up, I get myself sitting up in bed. I smile for a second at my small accomplishment. My joy is short lived, as my head quickly begins to spin. I feel nauseous and everything is fuzzy. I grow weak and my vision starts to fade. All of a sudden I go limp, and everything goes black.

My eyes flutter open at the sound of footsteps. I watch Derek walk into my room and look over my chart. Okay, there is no way I am going to tell him about my passing out last night. Nobody needs to know about that, I will just work on building my strength up on my own. "How are you feeling?" Derek asks me. " Great," I say as convincingly as I can. Honestly, what happened last night scared me. I guess I really am not as strong as I used to be. " So when am I going to be able to move around again? Being in this room is killing me," I say. " Not for awhile. We need to gradually get you used to activity again. Don't even try to sit or stand up, you are not near strong enough for that yet," Derek tells me. Yeah there is no way I am telling him what happened last night. I nod at Derek to let him know I understand, trying hard to hide my embarrassment.

This whole not being able to move thing is going to make my plan difficult. If I can't even sit up, how am I going to go see Lexie? " Can Lexie come visit me?" I ask. " She needs to stay as still as possible. Her bones need to set properly if she wants to move normally again. She wasn't supposed to come and see you, you know. She broke the rules to come be with you and she also risked her health. I'll never understand it, but that girl really loves you," Derek looks at me and laughs. I guess she really does love me. I can't hide my smile and beam at the thought of Lexie and I spending our life together and being in love. " You look like a little school girl," Derek says, before walking out of the room laughing. This is definitely not a school kid crush. This is the real deal.

I need to start building my strength so I can go see Lexie. I need to go get my girl. At least three of my girls can come see me. Callie, Arizona, and Sofia come visit me often and there is nothing better than watching my baby girl play. When I am not visiting with my friends and family, I am working on my exercise routine. Periodically, I lift my pillow slightly and scoot up a little. Hopefully this will slowly get me used to sitting up. It's going incredibly slowly, but I am taking baby steps. My weakness scares me, and I don't want to go unconscious again.I may not come back next time. I lift books to build my arm strength. Callie is worried I have brain damage, considering I usually don't read anything other than what's necessary for my work. I still won't tell her what I am using the books for. This is my journey. My journey to get to Lexie and I need to do it on my own. I am going to see her, I am going to love her, and I am never going to let her go. We are not going to lose each other again. I am going to make sure of that.

A week has passed since I started my so-called work out regimen, and Derek has told me that I am now strong enough to use a wheelchair. " Great! Can you bring one over so I can go see Lexie. Thank you so much man, for everything," I say to him. " Not so fast. You can't go anywhere without assistance. You aren't ready for that. But I will gladly take you to Lexie and stay with you as long as you want.," Derek says. My face falls. I do not want to see Lexie for the first time with Derek. I want it to be special when we are reunited. So now I am torn between waiting to see her, or having a babysitter when I do. I am not going to follow the rules damn it. I will just have to go and sneak into her room in the middle of the night. I smile at Derek using my best fake smile, " Thanks but I think I will wait a little while. I want to figure out exactly what I want to say to her before you take me." Derek looks at me suspiciously, " Okay.." He says.

Tonight is my night. Tonight I will go see Lexie alone so we can have our moment. I miss her so much it hurts. I remember everything about her. Her smell, her touch, her smile. Everything is so vivid in my mind. I am sick of remembering her though, it's time for me to be living in the same moment with her instead.

The minutes tick by like hours. It's four 'o' clock. I have to wait at least six more hours until I have a chance to see her. I can't stop fidgeting. I am so anxious to see her and I have butterflies. Damn it Mark, men don't have butterflies. I tell myself. No one ever makes me feel like this, I make people feel like this. Lexie is magical, and she has cast her spell on me.

It's now past twelve and it's time for me to make my move. I am taking fluids on my own now so I don't need an IV. I pull it out of my arm and lean over to turn off the sound on my heart monitor before I take the tabs off my chest. Now that I am not hooked up to any contraptions anymore, I can focus on the next step. I see a wheelchair in the corner of my room, but how am I supposed to get to it? I glance into the hallway and it is clear. I have only noticed someone walk by occasionally, so I should be okay. It's time Mark, you can do this. I tell myself. I carefully sit up in my bed and wait for things to go to black again. After sitting there for at least five minutes dreading what's to come, I realize that I have not passed out and it's okay to relax again. I let out a big breath. Okay that's over, now time to stand. Oh God, I have to stand. I mentally prepare myself for this not seemingly, but big feat. I steady myself with one hand on the bed railing, and the other on the bed. I push myself up slowly and carefully. Grabbing the rail as to try and prevent falling, I do the same as I did with sitting. I wait. I feel light headed, and my legs feel like jello. Nothing I can't handle though. Reaching my hand to grab the chair next to my bed, I take a few steps. I can't believe I am walking after all this time. I smile. I can do this, I can actually go see her and I will. My stomach does a summersault at the thought of going to see the person I love. Like a stupid school girl's would. I use chairs and my bed to steady myself as I slowly walk across the room. I reach my wheelchair and carefully lower myself into it. Time to go.

Looking out of the door to my room, I don't see anyone but a few exhausted nurses. If I am really quiet and act natural, they shouldn't notice me. I wheel myself out of the room, not bothering to shut the door. All of a sudden a scrawny intern stops in his tracks and stares right at me. "Hey! You aren't supposed to be moving around unassisted !" He says. Ugh, just what I needed. He comes over to me and grabs my chair, about to take me back to my room. " Listen boy," I say as I grab his arm, " I can end your whole damn career in one phone call. So I wouldn't mess with me if I were you. I am not going back to my room, and you are not going to 'assist' me in going anywhere. All I want to do is go visit someone, and me being a doctor, I know I am physically able to do so. Now, go. Walk away and don't you dare tell anyone you saw me. Are we clear?" He looks at me with the look of a dog that has just been kicked. " Y..yes sir," he says as he scampers off down the hallway. I swear, each year the crop of interns get weaker and dumber.

With the dweeb out of the way, I continue. I really don't know which room Lexie is in, but I continue towards the hallway that I imagine her room to be off of. When I turn the corner, I see her. In another wheelchair coming towards me is Lexie. She takes my breath away. She is more beautiful than ever. I stop and stare, she does the same. A grin grows across her face, the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life. I feel the pain behind my eyes again, and a tear rolls down my cheek. I smile like an idiot and try to take a breath. I can't believe she is here. We are here, together for the first time in what seems like forever. All I want to do is run to her and hold her. Sadly, all I manage to say is, " Lexie..." She smiles and wipes away a tear, " Hi, Mark." She says.


End file.
